


Will You Be My (Fake) Valentine?

by Huntress79



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Artist Steve Rogers, Awkward Flirting (kind of), Business partners Bucky and Nat, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Happy Ending, M/M, Meddling Natasha Romanov, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day Party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:54:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29593797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huntress79/pseuds/Huntress79
Summary: Natasha’s hosting a last minute Valentine’s party, which puts Bucky in a bind. He told them all, several times, that he has a partner.... With the party coming closer and several options falling through, his last chance at saving his face is his cute, handsome, and as far as Bucky knows, totally straight neighbor Steve…
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson (hinted at), Jack Rollins/Brock Rumlow (mentioned), James "Bucky" Barnes & Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Loki/Thor (mentioned), Maria Hill/Natasha Romanov, Matt Murdock/Franklin "Foggy" Nelson (mentioned), Riley/Sam Wilson (mentioned) - Relationship, Scott Lang/Hope Van Dyne (Mentioned)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 99
Collections: Hell Yeah Bottom Bucky





	Will You Be My (Fake) Valentine?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [debwalsh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/debwalsh/gifts).



> written for the wonderful debwalsh in the HYBB Valentine’s Exchange. Set in a modern, non-power AU. Hope you like it! Enjoy, and a belated Happy Valentine!

*********************

_February 7th_

“God damn it!!”

Bucky was barely inside his apartment when his eyes fell on the black and red card among all the invoices and other not-so-nice mailings you get almost daily.

Picking the card out of the small stack, the curse was followed by a groan when he saw the clip-like sticker holding the card together.

A small hourglass, like the rest of the card in black with a red frame, could only mean one thing - Natasha had sent it to him.

And usually, the redhead wasn’t up to anything good. At least when it came to him.

They were friends, first and foremost, and for the past few years, partners at Red Star Security. And while they both were seasoned professionals on the job, both Bucky and Nat were, more or less, human disasters (in a loving, teasing way).

With a sigh, Bucky sat down on the couch, Alpine immediately snuggling close to him. The white Persian showed up one day out of the blue, refused to go, and was now, after almost two years, the hands down best part of Bucky’s life.

Finally, he opened the card, his pale blue eyes taking in the design before landing on the words.

“We’re hosting a Valentine’s party at our place, in honor of our one-year-anniversary,” could be read, the silvery color of the ink giving a nice contrast to the black background. “No singles allowed to attend. Bring your better half - we want to meet them! Oh, and dress nicely! Love, Natasha and Maria.”

Another groan escaped Bucky’s mouth while he let his head fall back on the headrest of the couch.

“Al, I’m going to hell,” he told the cat. “Why did I have to lie about a partner in the first place?”

*********************

Since it was Sunday, Bucky didn’t have to go to their office, but he still did some preparation for a meeting with a potential new client on Monday.

Which in turn gave him way too much time to mull about his “boyfriend” problem.

At some point in the past, he couldn’t stand the almost persistent nagging of his friends any longer and told them that he had a partner. And now, this little white lie was coming to bite him in the ass.

Sam, his last boyfriend, was out of the game. Mostly because he and his fiancé Riley were set to marry as soon as Riley’s broken leg was well enough, but also because Sam was too good a person to be dragged into something like that.

Clint, his former roommatem fellow human disaster (and sometimes fuck buddy), was also a no-go. First, if he still were single, he probably would flirt with everyone. But since Clint, similar to Sam, was in a steady relationship now, the first thought was for naught anyway.

Scrolling through his mental rolodex of former flings and boyfriends, Bucky couldn’t help but sigh. How on Earth had he missed the fact that pretty much all of them were in a steady relationship with someone else now?

Scott had switched to women and was now engaged to Hope; Brock and Jack had found each other (how fitting, given their characters); Matt had Foggy, his partner at their attorneys-at-law office; Frank was God knows where; Loki, a summer fling back in their last year of college, was back home in Norway, but thanks to modern social media, Bucky knew that, after learning that he was in fact adopted and had no blood relation to anyone he thought were his family, Loki was courting Thor.

“What am I gonna do, Al?” Bucky asked the cat, who, of course couldn’t answer, and so opted for drowning her human in all the love she could give, accompanied with loud purring, which even got louder when Bucky’s hand started to pet her on her tummy. “I can’t go there alone. Not only because singles are not allowed to show up, but also because Nat would never, ever let me live that down, not in a million years. And let me tell you, she’s the last person on this Earth that I want to see me as a liar.”

A knock on the door brought Bucky back to reality. Thinking that it probably was just Mrs. O’Leary from across the hallway needing something, Bucky took his time to open the door.

Only for it to reveal another neighbor of his standing right outside.

Steve Rogers.

The blond hunk ( _scratch that_ , Bucky’s brain helpfully supplied, _that guy is a mountain, and you want to climb it so bad_ ) had just moved in at the end of last November, but he and Bucky quickly became friends.

Compared to most of the other inhabitants of the building, Steve was easy, in almost every meaning of the word. He never said a bad word to or about anyone, he was willing to help and drop whatever he was doing in a heartbeat. Steve also wore a smile almost constantly, took the time to greet anyone in a proper manner, and on top of that, he also had, apparently, a big heart for animals, if the marathon petting sessions both Alpine and Mrs. O’Leary’s Corgi mix received so far were anything to count for.

Long story short, Steve Rogers was Bucky’s very real wet dream.

But, so Bucky told himself repeatedly, Steve also was straight. Even though Bucky never asked him directly about it, the other man never made an inclination either.

Though, he also never really had talked about his past in general at all, least his love life.

Snapping out of his thoughts, Bucky turned to Steve with a smile.

“Steve? Everything’s okay?”

“Oh, yeah, it’s just…,” the blond began, one of his huge hands wandering up his neck. “I was about to make dinner, only to realize that I have forgotten to do some shopping. And honestly, I’m too tired to get dressed again and head down to the corner store.”

“Understandable,” Bucky agreed. It was close to 8 in the evening, and even though the store was supposed to be open until 10, nobody in his right mind would leave the house when it was raining this hard. “What do you need?”

“Just one or two eggs, if you can spare them. Of course I’ll replace them tomorrow, Scout’s Honor,” Steve replied, and Bucky had to put up a fight not to melt in a puddle on the spot. Did this guy even realize how sexy his baritone voice was, especially this close?

“Sure, come in and have a seat while I check my fridge,” Bucky finally replied before turning away from the door. Steve did as told, sitting down in the single chair on the left side of the couch.

Bucky, on the other hand, took his sweet time searching his fridge. He had to milk this opportunity of having Steve in his apartment for as long as possible.

Sadly, his fridge was a party pooper, and revealed that there were only two eggs left. And Bucky had plans of making himself scrambled eggs for breakfast tomorrow morning.

Heaving a sigh, Bucky headed back to the living room, where Alpine also was milking Steve - for another marathon session of pets and scratches.

“That’s not exactly a happy face,” Steve remarked.

“No, not really,” Buck replied before sitting down. “Look, I only have two eggs left, which I need for my own breakfast tomorrow. But I could whip up some pasta in no time. If you don’t mind having Pasta Alfredo, that is.”

“I… I can’t ask that from you, Bucky. Besides, it’s already getting late, and I don't want to keep you up longer than you’re used to.”

With that, Steve got up from the chair, but Bucky stopped him after two steps.

“It’s not that late. And since I’m my own boss, I can let it slide if I arrive at the office a bit later. Or even better, I can blame it on Monday morning traffic.” He locked gazes with Steve. “So, what do you say?”

“Go ahead, small time-Jamie,” Steve said in reply, “surprise me.”

*********************

In hindsight, the impromptu late dinner was a genius move for Bucky. He not only could show off his cooking skills (which Steve praised like a gazillion times), he also got to know the blond hunk a bit better.

Like Bucky himself, Steve worked in Manhattan, only a few blocks away from Red Star Security’s headquarters. And as it turned out, his employer was none other than StarkMedia, where Steve was part of the children’s books printing house and responsible for almost every illustration in these books.

He had come back to New York after living and working in London for some years, but for some reason, Bucky couldn’t get him to tell why exactly. Steve only told him with a smile that he couldn’t resist the call of Lady Liberty any longer.

Too soon for Bucky’s liking, the evening drew to a close, and with another heartfelt “thank you”, Steve was out of the apartment, only to turn back at the door and wishing Bucky a “good night” as well.

*********************

“Ooh! Looks like someone got lucky during the weekend!” Natasha exclaimed the moment Bucky stepped into the office Monday morning.

“Stuff it, Nat,” he fake-groused back. “And don’t even think about interrogating me all day. I won’t kiss and tell. Never have, never will.”

Always an actress in hiding, Natasha’s only reply was a pout.

“Stop pouting, Natalia,” Bucky added with a sigh. “Sometimes, you’re worse than my four sisters together.”

With a theatrical sigh, the redhead let the pout drop.

“If you say so…”

“Besides, my lovely partner, we have to get ready for the Parker presentation at 10.”

“Alright, alright,” Natasha finally said with her hands raised in surrender, “I’ll give up. But I want to meet that lucky person at the party. You got the invite?”

“Yeah, was in the mail yesterday. Nice design, by the way.”

“You have to tell that to Maria. She said something about one of the designers over at StarkMedia being responsible for it.”

Bucky filed that info away. Sure, StarkMedia had more than one designer, right?

*********************

For a Monday, the day flew by, and by the time 5 pm rolled around, Bucky and Nat had a preliminary contract with Parker Enterprises in their hands. And for once, they could leave a bit earlier.

Heading back to Brooklyn, Bucky made sure to stop at a grocery store, intent on filling up his fridge with a bit more than usual, in case Steve ran out of anything again.

At long last, he was back home, and after putting the groceries away and tending to Alpine, Bucky turned on the TV, more for it being a background noise than anything else.

He didn’t intend to fall asleep barely five minutes later, not at all.

*********************

Once again, a sharp knock on the door brought Bucky back to reality, and for a hot moment, he felt himself flush with embarrassment at falling asleep. He was mid-30, not mid-80, for Pete’s sake!

A second knock was heard, and finally, Bucky got up and headed over to the door.

“Hey,” Steve said in lieu of a greeting. “You’re okay?”

“Oh, hey. Yeah, just fell asleep on the couch that’s all,” Bucky replied before throwing a thumb over his shoulder. “Come in.”

“Hard day today?” Steve asked, following Bucky inside.

“Nah, not really, just… I don’t know, man. Maybe it’s all the adrenaline draining from my body, now that we have that contract.”

“That’s… that’s great!” Steve exclaimed, a broad smile on his face.

“Yeah, it really is,” Bucky agreed. “We’ve been working hard to get that one, and as far as I know, there was quite some competition for it.”

“Not that I know a ton about security firms and what they really do,” Steve said while getting up, “but nonetheless, you deserve it, Buck, if the way you tried to explain your work to me last night is anything to count for.” He made his way over to Bucky’s kitchen. “So what do you say? I go back to my apartment, return with the groceries I bought today, and whip something up that replenishes your power cells?”

“You don’t have to…,” Bucky began, only to be stopped by Steve holding up a hand.

“I know, but I want to. First off, to repay the favor and the delicious pasta you made yesterday, and second, I might not be working in security like you, but even I know that you’re in no shape to be at the stove tonight. You’re wiped, so let me help you out, okay?”

“Okay,” Bucky said around a yawn, resolving to himself that once Steve was gone, he was going to take a Tylenol or two.

*********************

As it turned out, Steve was as just an excellent cook as Bucky himself, and while his own skills tended to lean towards more traditional meals, Steve knew his way around the healthier side of a menu. The one-pot rice-vegetable-mix was delicious, for the lack of a better word. Not that Bucky said a lot at all between bites.

Steve even did the dishes (and ignored Bucky’s weak protests about it), and before heading back to his own apartment, he made Bucky a cup of tea, mixed with a dash of milk and sweetened with honey, stating that his mom made it for him whenever he felt unwell.

“Hey Steve,” Bucky called out right before the other man was about to head out, “got any plans on Sunday?”

“No, not at all,” the blond replied with a frown. “Why?”

“I better mention ahead that it’s Valentine’s Day this Sunday, in case you haven’t noticed.”

“Oh, I know,” Steve said around a sigh. “More on the professional side, since Stark, or better our CEO Ms. Potts, has reassigned all designers to temporary work at the greeting cards department. To be honest, I’m looking forward to next Monday, when it’s official that we all don’t have to see another cheesy Valentine’s card for the next six or seven months, at least.”

“Uh-oh. Not a fan of the day, huh?”

“Not at all,” Steve conceded. “I like the day itself and its meaning well enough, it’s just that certain enterprises have turned it into one giant, sugary monstrosity.”

“Amen to that,” Bucky agreed.

“But back to your question, Bucky…”

“Natasha, my business partner, and her wife are hosting a Valentine’s party this Sunday, since they have their one-year wedding anniversary the next day. And.. I might have mentioned before that I have a partner…”

“...which you apparently don’t have…,” Steve cut in with a downright wicked smile on his handsome face.

“Exactly. Now, if this were anyone else’s invite, I either would show up there alone, stating that my partner had a last-minute emergency, or I would blatantly ignore it completely. But since this is Natasha, I fear for my life if I would do either option. Besides, they stated in the invite that singles don’t even need to bother to show up at all.”

“Say, Barnes, are you asking me out on a fake date?” Steve asked, barely containing a laugh.

“Would you say yes if it were so?” Bucky shot back.

“Believe it or not, but yes. So when’s the party?”

“Sunday, 7 pm, at their apartment. They live in Queens, so it’s not that far.”

“Okay, then be ready at 6.15 pm,” Steve ordered, more or less. “And be prepared to be swept off your feet!”

Before Bucky could come with anything to say, the blond was out of the apartment, leaving one slightly befuddled James Barnes behind.

*********************

The rest of the week somehow passed by, not that Bucky was in any shape to notice or remember anything at all.

Thanks to Steve’s secret recipe, his fatigue was gone the next morning, or at least back to what Bucky considered normal for his age and life so far.

After landing the big deal on Monday, both he and Natasha only did the most necessary at the office, along with a quick assessment for Daniel Sousa’s flower shop’s security equipment.

And so, Bucky had enough time at his hands to do some shopping on Wednesday afternoon. A few well-placed questions got him the Romanov definition of “dress nice”, and while entering the small boutique near the Central Park, Bucky had to smile. Of course, his Russian-born friend considered dressing up to the nines as only “dressing nice”.

“Good afternoon, Sir. My name is Edwin Jarvis. How can I be of assistance?”

The tall man in front of him not only had a clear British accent in his voice, he also reminded Bucky of watching the “The Thin Man” movies with his sisters on rainy Sunday afternoons. He so had to give them all a call, the sooner, the better.

“I have an invite for a Valentine’s Day party on Sunday,” Bucky began, “and one of the hosts gave me her definition of the dress code. Which made me realize that I don’t have anything fitting for the occasion in my wardrobe.”

“I’m sure we find something for you in here, somewhere,” Jarvis replied. “Any preferences in colors, Sir?”

“Do you have anything in burgundy, or cranberry, or another dark red hue? I’ve been told that dark red works quite well with my complexion, and it also would be a nice nod towards the enterprise we have together.”

Jarvis led him over to a small, but very cozy looking settee, next to a full-body mirror.

“Please have a seat, Sir. I’ll see what I can dig up. You want anything to drink? Water? Coffee?”

“A coffee would be nice, thank you,” Bucky replied while sitting down. He hardly found his way into these small businesses, but if they all were as nice as this Jarvis guy, he was certain to return more often.

A redhead more or less materialized herself next to him, placing a delicate looking cup of coffee with a saucer on the small table in front of him, along with a second plate carrying some pralines.

“Here you go, Sir,” she said, her voice heavily laced with a Slavic accent. “Edwin will be back in a few.”

“Thank you,” Bucky replied, giving her a soft smile.

A few minutes later, Edwin returned, carrying several shirts in various shades of deep red.

“Very well, Sir,” he said while placing the stack on the counter next to him. “I apologize, but I apparently have run out of burgundy-colored shirts. But I have this cranberry-colored one instead.” He held out the top shirt of the stack. “I also took the liberty to bring it in several sizes, in case I miscalculated with my first glance.”

Bucky went behind the screen in the corner, changing into the shirt. And Holy Hannah, the fabric alone felt like straight out of heaven.

Despite his doubts, Jarvis had guessed his size immediately, and differently to other shirts Bucky had bought over the years, this one had a perfect fit in all places.

“Oh my,” Jarvis exclaimed once Bucky came back, “this color is indeed perfect for you, Sir. Do you want a matching tie to it or not?”

Bucky couldn’t help but smile. Neither Nat or Maria would know what hit them if he showed up that dolled up.

“Sure, why not?”

*********************

Almost an hour later, Bucky had his outfit complete. Next to the shirt and tie, he also bought a new pair of trousers in a nice, solid black, one that would also work well in his line of work. Another stop added several pairs of socks to the pile, and at last, Bucky treated himself to a new band for his wristwatch as well.

Back home, he successfully evaded the questioning looks both Mrs. O’Leary and Ms. Katic gave him in the hallway. He had a business to run, so seeing him getting new pieces of wardrobe shouldn’t be that surprising at all.

*********************

Sunday afternoon rolled around, and for the first time in a long time, Bucky was nervous. Scratch that, his entire tummy was doing the conga or whatever in there, his hands were sweaty, no matter how many times he wiped them with a rag or towel.

 _Get a grip, Barnes,_ he told himself several times, _it’s not a real date, for Pete’s sake!_

 _Dream on,_ another voice cut in, sounding a lot like Becca. _Have you seen the love-doe eyes Steve gave you ever since he first showed up at your door?_

Counting backwards in Russian put a stop to the voices in his head, and yet, “Becca”’s words didn’t leave Bucky alone. Was Steve really interested him? Or was it just playing along with their charade?

Sooner than later, much to Bucky’s chagrin, 6 pm rolled around, and so, he changed into the new clothes. Turning in front of the mirror, he had to give himself a clap on the shoulder for having quite some good taste.

But before he could mull about it any longer, a knock on the door could be heard, followed by Alpine’s version of an alarm clock (which was a long drawn out, quite adorable mix of meow and a purr)

“Coming,” Bucky called out, finishing the knot of his tie before opening the door.

And falling silent as soon as his eyes caught sight of the person in front of him.

Like he himself, Steve had opted for a black suit, but instead of a cranberry-colored shirt, he wore a shirt in a shimmering dark blue shade, bringing out the blue in his eyes even more. And also in sync with Bucky’s choice, he wore a tie in a matching shade.

“Hey, Bucky,” Steve drawled, letting his eyes roam freely over Bucky’s body. “Looks like we both had the same idea.”

“Y.. yeah,” Bucky finally got out, forcing his eyes away from the literal embodiment of “sex on legs” that Steve had turned into. “Come in, I just need to finish some last errands, then we’re good to go.”

“Need any help?”

“Yeah, if you could fill up Alpine’s food and water bowls, please.”

By now, Steve already knew where the necessary items were, so Bucky headed back to his bedroom, slipping his feet into his nicest pair of shoes and giving himself one final once-over in the mirror.

Content with what he saw, he made his way into the bathroom, sprinkling himself with a few pumps from his favorite aftershave before heading back to where he had left his fake date.

“Ready to rumble?” Bucky asked.

“As ready as I’m gonna be,” Steve replied, and in no time, they were standing in front of Natasha’s apartment block.

“Hey Yasha,” she said in greeting, dressed in a form-fitting, dark green dress that made her red hair pop in contrast. “And hello, stranger.”

“Hi, I’m Steve, and I’m very happy to finally meet the famous Natasha. You have no idea how much Bucky already has told me about you.”

“Oh, I hope I’m not too much of a disappointment,” the redhead replied.

“Stop talking bad about yourself,” Bucky and Maria shot back simultaneously. “At least while we have guests,” Maria added before telling both men to come in.

*********************

The party itself was, for the lack of a better word, great, and not even running into Clint was able to make a dent into Bucky’s good mood.

At long last, they also left the building, thanking both Natasha and Maria for the lovely party and wishing them a lovely anniversary.

“Oh, man,” Steve exclaimed once they were sitting in Bucky’s car, “you’ve got some really nice friends.”

“You think so?” Bucky challenged, wearing a smile similar to Steve on his face. “Wait until you’re on the receiving end of their non-existing matchmaking skills, then we can talk shop.”

“That’s why you came up with the non-existing boyfriend in the first place, right?”

“Yeah. I mean, Nat knew about my breakup with Sam, and yet, she started to meddle barely a week later. And I only can take so much meddling.”

“Understandable,” Steve agreed. “But I’m curious, Buck - how much of my meddling would you be able to take?”

“What?” Bucky shot back. Try as he might, he couldn’t quite follow Steve’s train of thought right now.

“Maybe meddling is the wrong word here, but I’m not sure if I would be able to survive spending the remainder of this night alone in my bed, with just my hand.”

Bucky barely managed to not jump on the brakes. You can’t drop something like that on a guy, seriously!

“What?” he repeated.

“You heard right, Buck. I want you, scratch that, I NEED you. My bed, your bed, I don’t care, but I also don’t want to wake up alone tomorrow, having to take matters in my own hands again.”

“I… I thought you were straight,” Bucky blurted out, his mind still racing with this turn of events.

“Bisexual fits better,” Steve corrected around a laugh. “Sure, I had my fair share with women as well, but my preferences definitely lie with guys. Especially ones as built as you are, Buck.”

“Stop… stop talking, Steve, please. At least until we’re at my apartment, okay? Otherwise I can’t guarantee anything. And I don’t think being arrested for public indecency is in your plans for this night.”

“Nope, not at all,” Steve replied, still smiling. “Happy Valentine, Bucky.”

*********************

The End

*********************


End file.
